What exactly is coaching? When I first started life coaching, many people had never heard of it. They had only heard of sports coaches. I used to ask them what a sport coach does because it's pretty much the same thing. I listen to you, I watch you, I notice where you're strong and where you're less strong. I ask you how you feel. I check in with you. I ask you what you want to accomplish. The best coaches in sport work with the whole person because the whole person plays the sport. The goal is usually to win or achieve personal bests. My goal as a coach is to help you win too, whatever your definition of win is. An athletics coach helps that person succeed, but the athlete has to play. Same goes with my coaching. You are the player. You have to want to play or I can't support you in creating the life you want.
Do you have a niche or speciality? I've resisted taking on a niche because I believe every part of our lives impacts every part of our lives. I have worked with many client on career questions, but it's a rare instance where we don't touch on other aspects of life. I am particularly interested in supporting young people as they enter the job market, and parents navigating all aspects of parenting.
What is the first meeting like? Before we meet for the first time, I will send you a few questions to get you thinking about what you'd like to accomplish in working with me. It will help me start to get to know you, and will give you more clarity about where you'd like to focus. The first session is really about getting acquainted and teasing out your goals for our work together. That will help me support you stay on track. Inevitably life comes up and sometimes we'll spend a whole session on something that doesn't necessarily feel relevant to the initial goal. I strongly believe that everything is connected, so while it may seem off-topic, it has come up for a reason. I will make sure to tie everything back together, so there is overall forward movement.
What does a regular session look like? After the initial session, each meeting will start with a quick check-in. Where (in the larger sense) are you today? How did anything you set out to do between sessions go? And then, what would you like to focus on today? You will set the agenda each meeting. Sometimes that's where we'll stay the whole session, but often that is only a starting point. Near the end of the session, together will come up with things for you to do or think about between sessions.
Will I have homework? I look at each coaching session as a starting point. Sometimes you'll figure things out during a session, but mostly what we'll do is build a structure together that you can lean on between sessions to keep moving forward. Sometimes it will be something to think about and absorb, sometimes it will be tasks to complete. I will never tell you what you must do. Together we'll come up with "to dos" that you agree to and think you can accomplish.
What if I change my mind about what I want to focus on? We will frequently check in about your priorities. Things change if life and you can absolutely change the focus any time. My job will be to remind you of your initial goal, and tease out what has changed, and together figure out the new direction.
How is coaching different than therapy? Completely different and sometimes the same. Depends on the therapist and coach. The way I distinguish the two is that therapy focuses more on looking what's there and figuring out the why. Why am I sad? Why am I stuck? Coaching is all about forward momentum. We acknowledge the things that may stand in your way, but instead of figuring them out or trying to change them, we work with and around them so they don't hold you back. Having said that, since I began coaching over ten years ago, many more therapists are using coaching tools with patients, so sometimes it seems that the two overlap. What I can say for sure is that I am not a therapist, and if at any point I feel you need the help and support of a therapist, I will tell you that.
How long do you usually work with clients? I have worked with clients for as little as 4 sessions and I have one client I have worked with for over ten years. It partly depends on what you are trying to accomplish. When I first work with new people, we discuss what the timeline might look like. If there is something very specific you want to work on and a time frame you have in mind, we will gear our work toward meeting that goal. As time goes on, I often meet with clients less frequently, sometimes on an as-needed basis. "Something has come up at work, can we meet?" I have also had client reach out again after months or even years of not working together.
Can we speak before I decide whether I want to sign up? I am happy to have a short conversation with potential clients to answer any questions and see whether we are a fit. Neither of us will know right away if we'll work well together over time, but we'll both have a better sense. Not everyone is ready to dive into this process, and if I sense you are not ready, I will tell you that.